Steps Ahead

There are so many times in life that I don't understand why things happen-and the flesh, the man, the human, the soul of me just wants to know, "why?!" But I've discovered something in the past few weeks...nothing that is profound, or extraordinary...and not even something that I've never heard before, but something that I'm finally coming to understand: God is steps ahead of us.

I don't just mean, He knows what's coming. I don't just mean He's bigger than our situation(even though he definitely is) I mean, He's steps ahead. He's organizing everything in our lives for our best. He's putting together every little detail. He works together all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. [Romans 8:28]

My husband and I have been looking for our next place to live.

For those of you who don't know, we were called by God to come up to DC January of 2009 to serve under Pastors Michael and Heather Giroux at the City Church. There have been a lot of unknowns during our journey here. Not just since we've been here, but to get here and all through every day of our journey. It's been all about learning to trust God that He knows what He's doing. But not only that, He has our best interests in mind. He has plans to prosper and not to harm. [Jeremiah 29.11] To give some background, to move up here, we went from two full-time incomes to just one. With the move, Mark and I decided that I would stay home with our 1 year old, Malachi. This was a stretch for us financially. Not just a little stretch, but a really tight, tight, hard stretch. Not only that, but I had just found out before we moved up here that we were pregnant with our second child. Talk about trusting God-moving to a way higher cost of living area, going from two incomes to one, and having another child. God was on the move-He HAD to be on the move... So, we left behind our first home that we purchased. We found some great renters whom we trusted to take care of our property, and we moved our family up here into a temporary living situation in a house owned by the church(until we could find/afford a place of our own). After a few months of being here, we knew we were in a little over our head, but we also knew we were where God called us to be. All we could do was trust Him. My husband was working for one job, while searching for a better, higher paying one.

Finally, he found one.

Let me just say, he was not qualified by the standards of men for this job. He only had a few years of sales experience...none of which had to do with fencing. All the other guys at the company he was hired to work for had 10+ years of not only sales, but fencing sales...but the favor and plan of God was on Mark's life, and he was offered the position. With the new job, and us having been looking for a place, we decided to move to where we are now. We looked for a long time, wondering where we were going to be, and what we could ever afford. We finally found an apartment that we really liked, but it was going to be a HUGE stretch for us financially. Again, we had to trust that God is our provider and not ourselves. During this time Mark was starting his job, learning the new processes of a different company, and starting to work on contracts for work...not knowing that the whole time, God had our best interests in mind[but I'm getting ahead of myself...] So, we moved. 7 months pregnant, onto the third floor of our new apartment, we moved. All the while, my husband and I scheming on how we could make more money to make sure we would be able to afford this new place.

When we moved, I had to find a new doctor. Mark had a new job, and we couldn't get the insurance until after his probationary period. We weren't sure what we were going to do. I was 7 months pregnant, and we certainly couldn't afford to pay for the birth and hospital expenses with cash, but God had our best interests in mind. I did not have to pay one pretty penny for Silas' birth/delivery, hospital expenses for myself or him, or his care for the first 3 months of his precious life-thank God for Maryland Health. It still blows my mind to think about that...after having had Malachi with health insurance and still owing money/paying it off after 1 year of his life, we didn't have to pay anything for Silas. What a blessing, to say the least.

So, we had Silas. Now two kids, in a new place, with a new job for my husband, a new church, and lots of things happening! Mark started giving guitar lessons to supplement our income to help with the added expenses of two kids. It has been the perfect amount. Not only have we been able to bless others, the church, and get caught up on some credit, we've learned so much. This past Christmas we didn't have to put one cent on a credit card. We were able to pay cash for all of our Christmas expenses thanks to the blessing and favor of God on our lives. He's steps ahead.

Mark's job- now that is one of the biggest blessings of all. We came to find out, after him working for his new company for several months, that he was hired to work in the [by far] busiest branch of his company. Not only this, he was already one of the tops salesman after a few months because of where he was hired. After now working there for coming up on a year, he's already had a few different raises, bonuses more than we ever expected, and makes now more than our two incomes combined when we left from Newport News to come here.

So, back to looking for a place to live. To fill in a little bit of the background here, like I said a few paragraphs ago, we found renters when we moved. They were great-even fixed a few things on the house...and they wanted to buy it! Then, the house got broken into and trashed a bit. Our awesome renters decided they didn't feel safe staying there, especially since they had recently found out they were pregnant with their first child. We understood and decided to let them out of their lease 6 months early. So, we searched for a new renter. We found one a few weeks later. We should have known it was too good to be true. The nightmare of this ordeal started here. The security deposit our new renter gave us was rejected- "insufficient funds." The next several months included a lot of phone calls, stern emails, and finally the court process to have our tenant(who never paid us one penny-after all the promises, excuses, and such) evicted. We were awarded a conviction against our tenant and he was removed. Our lovely first home that we dearly loved, is now for Short Sale. It's been on for 6 months now, and we haven't had one offer...but God has our best interests in mind-He's steps ahead. I sometimes try to revert to asking ,"why?!!!" until I remember again that God has great plans for us. Plans to prosper and not to harm. So, we've given it to him.

So, again, we're looking for a place to live. We've been looking for awhile, trying to figure out how we are going to past the credit checks for any place considering that our credit is wrecked from our short sale...and we found a place. A little single family house with a fenced in yard...and a beautiful dogwood tree in the front yard. We've been approved by the realty company to rent the house. Not only that...God doesn't just take care of the BIG picture, he cares about the little details too...the desires of our hearts. The landlord not only has lowered the price 150 from his original rental price, he's remodeling the kitchen. It's not only a single family house, but it has a full size washer and dryer...it has a den and living room...it has an enormous storage shed out back for all of our things(I was wondering where we were going to put anything in such a small space). It really is the perfect home for us...the little details that God so cares about.

So, I come back to another place of God being steps ahead. One of the first "jobs" that Mark worked on for his new company when he first started...it was a large job, but he thought it had fallen through. Nothing had happened on it in several months, and he thought it was dead. Guess when that job went through? Just a few weeks ago. Not only that, God is steps ahead...the job that he closed, it uses a product that he buys from another company...and that company is running a promotion where if you buy this super-specific product, you get an immediate cash kickback...guess what specific product it was?? EXACTLY the one that Mark needed for this job that was dead. And, guess how much that kickback was for Mark?? EXACTLY how much the security deposit is for this perfect little house that God provided for us.

So, whenever you're wondering if God is in the midst of your situation; when you are wondering why things happen...when you want to find an open field and yell up to the sky, "WHY???!!!!"...when you feel like the last thread of the rope you are clinging onto is about to break...just remember, God is steps ahead.

Experiences and Resposes

In thinking today about life in general, I came across the realization that there are many different ways to cope/deal/respond with the things of life. Not that life is bad, or negative, so cope might not be exactly the right word...maybe I mean there are different ways to discover life, or understand it. Maybe at times, it means appreciating life, or remembering it, but what it comes down to is- people have all different ways of doing it.

There are those who write it down. The good things, the memories, the heartaches, and meditations. I keep a journal for my son, Malachi. It has little tidbits from important people in our lives and his, and it also has many entries from me and my husband. Some of the things are about who we are and how much we believe in him. Some of it is about the little things that he does that we want to always remember. Some of it explains why we are where we are, and the call of God on our lives. I also keep a journal for myself-it's something I've done off and on since I was in middle school. I'm not consistent in journaling, but I often find when there's something important that has happened, or a hard time I'm going through, I can articulate it most clearly through writing. My emotions spread out on paper for me[and hopefully only me] to see. The good thing about that is that I think/write about how I feel before I decide whether[or how] to express it to those who are most dear to me. The fault of this sometimes I think, is that often I don't share these parts of me with others. Sometimes I keep the bad, and the even the good, to myself.

There are those who take/let it out on others. They laugh and share when there are good times. They cry when they have hard times. They scream and yell and shout when they are hurt or confused or angry... They share who they are with all those who are around them. In some ways I think this could be a plus. With people like that, there's never any wondering what's happening in their head. Like the old saying goes, "they wear their heart on their sleeve." There's something to be said about someone who can be that open with the people in their lives. Of course, there's always the downside of that as well...hurting those around you with words out of emotion that don't always accurately portray how you are really feeling or what you really think.

There are those who create. In some ways, I guess this could fall under the writing category, but I think there are some differences. Sometimes beautiful things can come out of hard, confusing, hurtful, exciting, exhilarating, joyful times. Great songs, beautiful paintings, amazing architecture, photography, graphic design, poetry, sculpture, what have you, can all come out of expressing life-coping/dealing with the things of life. This could even lead to telling the "story" of creating while sharing this part of your life with those who enjoy your art. It could also be a way of sort of getting out of having to express your emotions and thoughts to others through conversation.

Some people revert inside of themselves not expressing their life to others or even to themselves. They may think a lot about what has happened to them, both good and bad. They may not think that their life is important enough to share, or their experiences significant enough, so they mull things over for themselves. They possibly will share their lives with one person who is incredibly close to them, whom they trust.

I think we all would be wise to learn from each category of these people. To learn how to deal/cope/learn from life by trying each way. Sometimes only sharing things with those we trust the most. Sometimes by expressing things outright by shouting, yelling, wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Sometimes we should create works of art by sorting through our experiences and feelings and creating out of them. Sometimes we should write or journal so that we can understand and express our own life for our own better understanding.